Already, But Not Yet

 

Ash Wednesday ( February 18, 2026)

Scripture: Joel 2:12-13, Romans 6:4

 

Tolstoy’s Three Deaths

Today, as we receive these ashes, we are forced to look at a reality we usually spend our whole lives trying to ignore: our mortality. Leo Tolstoy, the great novelist, once wrote a story called Three Deaths. It’s a profound look at how our attitude toward death is actually a reflection of how we choose to live.

The first death is that of a noblewoman. She was incredibly wealthy. Her entire life had been a battle against discomfort. If she was hungry, she ate the best food to silence it. If she was cold, she bought warmth. She used her money to control every difficult thing in her world. But then, the shadow of death arrived. She became very ill.

True to her nature, she tried to fight death like an enemy she could bribe or bully. She hired the most famous doctors. She insisted on traveling to a famous sanatorium even when she was too weak to move. In her final moments, sitting in a carriage, she felt only hatred and resentment toward her husband for suggesting she just rest. She died in that carriage, still trying to control the uncontrollable. In the end, the money she used to master life could not help her master death.

The second death is that of Fyodor, a poor coachman. He was the opposite of the noblewoman. He had nothing, so he lived in harmony with the natural flow of things. When he realized he was dying of consumption, he didn't fight it. He simply waited. He asked another coachman to promise to buy him a gravestone after he passed. When that coachman asked for Fyodor’s boots in exchange, Fyodor gave them away without a second thought. He was found dead the next morning, having let go of his life as quietly as he let go of his boots.

The third death is a tree. To keep his promise to Fyodor, the driver went into the woods to cut down a tree for a headstone. The tree met its end with a beautiful, silent grace. By giving itself up, it became a memorial. Its stump eventually returned to the soil, nourishing the forest and making it more beautiful. The tree’s life followed the seasons—blossoming in spring, shading in summer, shedding in autumn, and enduring the winter. It accepted death as part of a cycle that eventually gives birth to new life.

Tolstoy asks us: How will you die? His point is that your attitude toward death isn’t decided the moment you stop breathing. It’s decided by how you are living right now.

 

The Theology of "Already but Not Yet"

This brings us to a very important theological theme: "Already but Not Yet." Throughout the New Testament, we see the "Kingdom of God." We aren't people who try to build a kingdom through politics or culture, nor are we people who think heaven is just a place we "go to" after we die while we just suffer through this life.

We have a Bethel Faith. Like Jacob’s ladder, we live in the tension.

• Already: Jesus has come! The Kingdom of God is present right here, right now.
• Not Yet: Jesus has not yet returned. This is why we still have sickness, pain, and death.

We live in the gap between the "Already" and the "Not Yet." Today’s reading from Romans 6:4 tells us how to live in that tension: "...so we too might walk in newness of life." Because of Jesus, we can die to our sins every day and be reborn by His grace every morning. When we practice "dying" to our ego and our pride daily, physical death loses its sting. It stops being a terrifying end and becomes a door to eternal life.

 

A Personal Reflection on the Dust

We are made of dust. Job said it best: "Naked I came... and naked I shall return." We can’t take our money, our accomplishments, or even our boots with us.

I’ll be honest with you—I didn't truly grasp this until I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. Up until that moment, death was a concept that applied to "other people." It felt far away. But suddenly, I had to ask: “What if I die right now?”

I found myself feeling two things. First, I felt a deep gratitude for the years I had lived. But second, I felt a profound sense of "sorry" toward God. Not because I hadn't achieved enough "success," but because I saw the parts of my character and my nature that were still so far from His heart. I realized I wanted more time to let the Holy Spirit change me from the inside out.

 

The Call of Joel: Rend Your Hearts

This is why Ash Wednesday matters. It is a time to return. The prophet Joel gives us this urgent plea:

“Yet even now, says the Lord, return to me with all your heart with fasting, with weeping and with mourning; rend your hearts and not your clothing. Return to the Lord your God, for he is gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love...” (Joel 2:12-13)

God doesn't want us to just "act" religious. He doesn't want us to just "tear our clothes" or put on a show of piety. He wants us to rend our hearts. He wants us to look at what we need to throw away before we return to the dust.

 

Fasting and Feasting

Lent is 40 days of preparation. Historically, we fast. But Christianity isn't just about emptying ourselves; it’s about what we fill ourselves with. If we only empty the "bad," we are just empty. The resurrected Jesus wants to fill us with the "good."

As we begin this Lenten journey, let’s look at what we need to let go of and what we need to take in. I want to close by inviting you to read this "Fasting and Feasting" prayer with me. Let this be our roadmap for how we live in the "Already but Not Yet."

[Let us read together]

Fast & Feast Prayer

FAST from self-concern and FEAST on compassion for others.

FAST from discouragement and FEAST on hope.

FAST from suspicion and FEAST on truth.

FAST from thoughts that weaken and FEAST on promises that inspire.

FAST from gossip and FEAST on purposeful silence.

FAST from problems that overwhelm you and FEAST on prayer that sustains.

FAST from criticism and FEAST on praise.

FAST from self-pity and FEAST on joy.

FAST from fear and FEAST on peace.

FAST from resentment and FEAST on contentment.

FAST from jealousy and FEAST on love.

FAST from pride and FEAST on humility.

FAST from selfishness and FEAST on service.

 

 A Shared Journey: Our Lenten Daily Devotion

As we embark on this 40-day journey of "Fasting and Feasting," we don't want anyone to walk alone. We are a body of believers, and we need each other’s strength to stay focused on the "Already" of God's grace while we wait for the "Not Yet" of His full kingdom.

To help us stay connected to the Word and to one another, we are starting a Daily Devotion Sharing Group during Lent. This is how it works:

• Read & Reflect: Each day, take a few moments for your personal devotion.
• Share: In our online group, simply post your favorite verse from that day’s reading or share a prayer request.
• Encourage: You don't have to write a long essay! Even just a sentence can be a light for someone else.

If you aren't sure what to say, don't worry—you can start by simply reading the verses that Penny and I will be posting daily. Let’s use our online space to build a "ladder of Bethel" together, reminding one another that even though we are dust, we are dust that is held in the hands of a living God. Amen.